This.

Graham asked me last night what I really want to do. I took a minute to search my thoughts. The typical responses came to mind. Start a coffee shop. Travel. But as I rummaged through my passions I came to a conclusion I always have known in my heart of hearts. "This." Something settled in my spirit as I spoke. It is true. This...Graham, Malachi, Scout...God forbid, even Kato and Creston...doing "this". "This" is my hearts desire.

Not to say that there is not a place for my other passions. It is still true that I am a travel junky, and that my love for the culinary art of Espresso making (or drinking, whatever is more available) is alive and well (as I drink the last drop of my macciato over ice). The thing is that now that I have entered into this uncharted ground of being Graham Johnston's wife, and Kai and Scout's mommy...nothing comes even as a close second. I know it's cliche', but I truly am living my dream. Not every woman's dream, but my dream.

I have known for a long time the truth of the verse "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Not in the way of a philosophical idea but in the way of a Daddy showing his daughter every day that it's true. I KNOW it. I usually know what's going to come my way - by the burning desire I feel in my heart. Whether that be a pair of jean capri's when I was fourteen, a handsome, curly headed drum playing Graham Johnston at seventeen or two strapping Johnston boys at 23.

I remember the day when I was nine I decided I needed a husband with curly hair (for the little girls with curls I would eventually produce). Graham used to wonder why he was the only one in his family with curls. Ahem. God loves me. It is amazing to discover at age 23 that; It is still true. That my hearts desires are coming true every day. Not in a powdered-puffed fairy tale sort of way, but in a messy real life beautiful sort of way.

Malachi is drinking his "coffee" (chocolate milk) and playing with the toy basket at Colters and Scout is making silly gas-faces as he snoozes in his car seat. My nipples are sore and leaky and I'm going to have to brave the predictably horrendous wait at the doctors office with TWO boys today. Malachi has hit a painfully whiny stage and if they say they're to give Scout any shots today without Graham there - I will cry. Actually I cry at EVERYTHING these days. But, the fact of the matter is, I am so incredibly satisfied because the truth is; All I really want to do is, this. I have an incredible, understanding and strong husband (who holds me even if I'm crying because I can't find the keys and I need to go grocery shopping) and two amazing, adorable boys who surprise me every day. And I happen to know we will still travel, and God knows I will not get far from coffee... It's a beautiful life.